New Updates, Still no pictures

Well, Justin started school and he LOVES it. He even likes doing the readings which confuse and frighten me. Still no internet service because our new landlords have to run the cables through a wall so that the serviceman can access the cable to give us the internet and television, so no pictures yet. GRRR... Jackson and I both had doctors appointment today. He is now 26 lbs, 10 oz (50-75%) and 34 inches tall (90%). He is also brilliant and beautiful says his pediatric nurse practictioner (who is also our landlord). The baby is doing well, no real problems except her mommy just being gigantically pregnant. I look like a barge. It looks like I will be able to schedule my cesarean on the 3rd of October. Oh, funny story, my OB doctor happened to see my garment top as he was checking the baby and admited he is also LDS. He is actually in our ward. A little weird to have sunday school with someone who will see my, um, delicates, but...
In other news, Rachel and Dan have been out visiting my parents so last week we went to a orchard and picked 60 lbs of peaches and 15 lbs of blackberries. Yeah, I know. When we do something, we do it in a big way. Then Rachel, my mom and I all spent the next two days making homemade blackberry jam then canning it and peaches. My Dad saw we were canning and proceeded to bring home two gigantic boxes of fresh tomatoes which we also canned. Prior to this I had thought about picking apples in September at the same farm and canning applesauce and apple butter but I am a canning fool. I don't think I have the mental strength and fortitude to complete another canning marathon. It made me appreciate my mom though, because she used to can and I thought it was so easy...hmmm...I think aging gives you perspective. Jackson loved picking blackberries. He snuck so many he had diarrhea for the next two days. Silly boy. All kidding aside it was really fun though, and made me feel all nesty.
Emma's birthday is today and we had a homemade birthday cake for her. I feel like it is important for my other children to know about her. She was an amazing little girl and I want her brother and sister to know how much we loved her and how much she loves them. Hard day but it was good to stay busy. I know I will not stop loving her and missing her until I get to be with her again.
Well, Love all. Keep the comments rolling in, I love them.

Ok. I admit it, I am lame...

Ok so I know I haven't posted any pictures for like two months. My parents' internet speed is like a small hamster running on a wheel and our internet has yet to be installed. But because I have had numerous comments left about how lame I am for not posting anything, I am braving the bad internet. Jackson has been a very busy boy- he is growing like a weed and gets funnier everyday. He has also started sloping into the terrible twos-he is advanced for his age :) - so that means more tantrums and mischief making. It is actually really funny he kind of drops where he is at on his knees and then rolls around crying and whining. He is also really into jumping right now- he hops around the house, singing (he will just walk around singing and humming to himself) and coloring. He has enjoyed the fresh Illinois corn and wants to eat his own piece from the cob- it is really cute. This past week we braved the humidity outside where he played in his Elmo splash pad- I will post pictures and I will also post pictures of him at the City Museum in St. Louis which is a giant wherehouse with slides, ball pits, art rooms and an aquarium. Basically it is a little boys dream-Justin had a blast too. Everything is going well with the baby, it looks if I schedule my c-section again it will probably be around October 2 or 3rd. She is a feisty baby already-she will have to be a little scrappy with Jacks around. When I go to the OB she kicks the fetal heart monitor, she kicks the ultrasound machine and generally kicks me all night long. She also has very definite opinions on things-she lets me know when she is unhappy. Justin and I went to see the Dark Knight last week and she let me know she did not approve. I have never had her be that active and kick that hard for 2 1/2 hours straight. The Joker freaked me out and I don't think she liked him either. She also does not enjoy when Jacks attempts to scale my ever expanding belly. The other day when I layed down with him for his nap he and his sister got in a kicking fight with me in the middle. Getting along already...

Justin starts orientation on Wed. the 13th of August and classes start on the 18th. Justin and I will be celebrating our fourth wedding anniversary on the 14th. It is funny to think we have been married four years, so long in some ways and no time has passed in other ways. I still think he is really cute and he knows how I like my peanut butter sandwiches and how to make me laugh, so I think we are doing well. Honestly, I am really grateful I struck the lottery when I met and married him, he is the best father and my best friend, I am glad that he is the man he is. Because of orientation and my current pregnant status, we will not get to get away for our anniversary :( (I think I have been pregnant for every single one of our anniversaries so far...maybe next year ) Maybe he will have something fun planned anyway. Missing everyone back in Arizona-sorry I am a slacker... When our internet finally gets up, I will post pictures of the house and get back to regular contributing. Feel free to drop a comment-I love reading them, they make me feel special- or just call me. Love you all!

Jack Pics and Ultrasound

Pictures from Jackson's Birthday and our trip to Utah.

Here is a picture of our computer screen with the babies ultrasound pictures on it...I couldn't get them to load. The first is a profile with hands and arms, the second is a straight profile shot. Isn't she beautiful ;)

Overdue Update...

Well, updates...where to start? We passed the dreaded one year anniversary of Angel Day and it was as horrible as I predicted. I just want to take a moment and thank my family and friends who texted or called that day. Justin and I were overcome with love and support and it was nice to feel that we were not alone (special shout out to Brianne for the beautiful album-we love it). Justin and I also had the opportunity to attend the temple the next day (due to scheduling conflicts we had not had time to attend that day) and had a beautiful experience. I don't want to talk about it too much except to say it is so amazing that we have a beautiful place where we can feel so close to our Heavenly Father and feel so close to our angel baby Emma. I left feeling renewed for the challenges we will face again and the hope and knowledge that we can and will be with our daughter again some day.
Justin, Jack, Rachel, Dan, Ryan and myself all made the trek to Provo, Utah for women's conference. My mom, Kami and Nanna got to fly there-lucky ducks-and we met up with them. It is kind of a tradition we go every year and the boys like to tag along to do boy stuff and meet up with former mission companions while the girls learn about "girl stuff"-a line from Justin. We all had a great time. Kudos to my one year old who was in a car for about 22 hours over the space of five days and did as well as you could hope for an active little boy.
Now the exciting part- I was going to do something fun on the blog to make people guess the sex of the baby but less than 5 seconds after "I think it may be a girl" came out of the ultrasound tech's mouth Justin was texting everyone in his contact list so most of you already know. We didn't get the clearest shot-she was being modest and had her legs covering her special parts-but when pressed the ultrasound technician gave us 99% chance of being a girl. We made her go back several times to double, and triple check and even Justin saw the three lines-look it up or use your imagination people, I am not going to explain. She said she saw absolutely no indication of boy parts so either 1. We are having a girl or 2. Our son will be a sad, sad man.
I will attempt to post pictures of the ultrasound up of the pictures I can make out, along with a picture of Jacks at a cool Mayan themed restraunt we went to in Utah. It had cliff divers and everything- so cool! Hope everyone is doing well, please leave me comments, it makes me feel popular and special.
Sara

Baby Names

Justin and I have been talking about names for this new project of ours to debut in October, and I started thinking about all the lame names that I had thought of for my kids when I was 12. Hmmm... Daisy Meadow, Sunshine Daydream, Regean Martinella. I also thought it would be cool to name my daughters Summer, Winter, Autumn and Spring. I was kind of going through a hippy, nature thing at the time. For the lucky little men, I thought Hunter Strong (gag-Strong as a middle name?) and Richard Lee (please don't ask about this semi- normal name...It may be related to a boyfriend I had at the time.) After reading this comprehensive list, I am now thinking how many kids did I think I was going to have? I would have had to give birth in litters!
I know everyone did this when they were younger, so 'fess up girls...what are the lame names you were going to saddle your kids with? The lamest or most um, creative name wins a special prize yet to be determined. Leave them as comments...I bet everyone could enjoy a good laugh. Will post some fun pictures of Jacks soon. Love you all.

Grief

The best way I can explain losing someone you love is comparing it to losing a limb. Though technically not a vital organ an arm or leg is a part of who you are. It helps you form your identity and define who you are as a person, it is the way you relate to the world and you enjoy it for what it brings to your life. Limbs cannot be replaced-prosthetics are not a new arm or leg, it is just a way to help you cope with losing this part of yourself. At the beginning, just as with a new surgical incision the pain is overwhelming, it is all you think about and most days begin and end with thoughts of how this is affecting your life. With time comes some healing. Not the kind that magically replace what you lost, the scar is still painfully obvious and your missing limb is still very noticible, but the thoughts of loss become less frequent. Still, when you notice that you are now different from how you used to be, the pain is just as intense. Sometimes you can just be thinking back on a not so distant event, and it reminds you of the whole person you used to be. Sometimes you notice others and envy their perfect, and whole body. You hate them for not missing a limb like you are, and you hate how they are totally unaware of how their lives are different for having a limb. Some can say, "Wow, I can't even imagine..." or "I am so sorry" while you appreciate their thoughts and support, it is something that until you are missing a part of yourself, you cannot and will not fully appreciate. Sometimes you look around and people that you never noticed are missing a limb-you develop a sense of comraderie with them and one day hope not to be crippled by your loss, but develop a new existence without your arm or leg, like they have.
Today I woke up and remembered that I am missing an arm. I have developed a new way of life and have adapted to this loss, but this morning I woke up and the pain was as sharp as the initial surgical wound. I know that I will have my arm back someday, but sometimes that knowledge isn't as effective in combating these feelings of loss. The anniversary of Emma's death is getting closer, and maybe that is why I have been more aware of this loss. I am basically just writing this to get all of these thoughts out of my head. Sometimes when I am struggling with things, words start forming like an essay, and I just needed to get it out. I will be ok. I know I will be ok. I am blessed in a million other ways, and for those blessings I am grateful. It just hurts. I miss her so much, sometimes it feels like a sharp pain or heaviness in my chest. I miss all the plans I had for the future like graduation, weddings, grandchildren. I miss the things I would have experienced with her by now-how would she look-would her hair be long enough for pigtails now? How would her third christmas have been, what would she have asked Santa for? How would she and Jacks be getting along-what would she have made him for his birthday? I miss her sweet face and big heart. I miss nap time with her, she had a way she would curl up against me and sometimes that spot where she would fit hurts. I guess I just miss my arm.

More Law School News

This is Justin again, updating my law school acceptances:

Northern Illinois University -- waitlisted
University of Idaho -- accepted
St. Mary's School of Law -- accepted
Washburn -- accepted

No kickin' scholarships from either of these schools, so I think that's made the decision to go to SIU a lot easier.

Still haven't heard from:

St. Louis University ($35,000/year tuition, and no chance at a scholarship)
Mississippi College (It's in Mississippi. . .what was I thinking?)
Texas Wesleyan

Not that it really matters. I'll be sending in the seat deposit to SIU soon. Idaho is one place I was strongly considering, but they didn't offer me a scholarship. Tuition is still low there, but not when compared to almost free at SIU.

I applied at a lot of places because I didn't want to be in the awkward position of having no acceptances, or just one acceptance. Looks like, barring one of the three schools I haven't heard from giving me an insane scholarship that covers tuition plus a living stipend, I'll be a Saluki in August.

Hmmm...what's that thing with a tail?

No, you are not seeing things, that is a replica of what my newest project looks like. I know that he/she still has a tail (it comes from Justin's side) and I fought putting a picture up only because the baby resembles alien vs. predator. But you know what, it's mine and I love it. I am due September 30th, and I am hoping that everything goes smoothly...I could use a break this year. Oh, FYI...I asked my magic 8 ball and the baby is a girl and should be named Pedro. I think all important decisions should be made with careful thought, diligent prayer and the help of a cheap plastic toy made in Taiwan.

Justin's Law School Update

Hey everyone,

This is Justin posting the latest law school acceptance news.

Phoenix School of Law -- accepted
Southern Illinois University -- accepted with great scholarship
California Western School of Law -- accepted with okay scholarship
University of Idaho School of Law -- accepted, no word about scholarship
Gonzaga University School of Law -- rejected

I still haven't heard from the following schools:

St. Louis University
Northern Illinois University (after the school shooting this week, not really wanting to go there)
University of Missouri at Kansas City
Texas Wesleyan School of Law
St. Mary's School of Law
Washburn University School of Law
Mississippi College School of Law

Yeah, I applied to a whole bunch of schools. I was quite nervous about getting accepted anywhere with my horrible, terrible, not-so-great GPA. It looks like my LSAT score has more than made up for it everywhere but Gonzaga right now.
California Western FedEx'd me a letter today explaining that they wanted to pay for airfare and put me up in a hotel in San Diego for a weekend while they tried to sell me on going to their school. Free weekend in San Diego? Awesome.

Jack's First Haircut

Forgot to post the video...here it is..enjoy!

Jack's First Haircut

Well, we did it. Jackson's hair had transformed into a mullett that Billy Ray Cyrus would be proud of and it had to go. I could actually put it into a pony in the back. So we decided today was the day. The minute that the clippers touched the back of his flaxen gold curls I wanted to snatch him out of the chair, but he looks so handsome and older...I don't know how I feel about that either! For your viewing pleasure and to mark the momentous occasion, I have posted some pictures and a video. Let us know what you think!
Love,
Sara and Jack

My husband is a super star!!!!

Justin got a call today from Southern Illinois Unversity and he got accepted and a scholorship that will nearly cover his tuition!!!!! I am SO proud of you honey! This part of law school is fun so far...we'll keep you posted on any other acceptances. Well, it's 1 am and so I will post some fun pictures of Jack tommarrow or later this week. Bye all!

update

Hi everyone, I haven't posted in a while and I was feeling like a slacker. Well, new updates...Rachel my gorgeous, talented sister in law and her sister Suzanne decided to start a business of making baby quilts (Don't worry, I will link it) I decided to jump in making diapees and wipees cases, baby bags, scripture totes, etc. If you are interested in purchasing some "quality handmade crap" please let me know. Just saw new pictures of the Woolner's baby, she is so cute and makes me jones for little baby stage again. Jack-a-rama, AKA Jack's 1st birthday will be held at my house on the 16th at 1 pm. Please let me know if you didn't get an invitation, I don't have everyone's email. Also, the workers at Buffalo Exchange are involved in reverse discrimination...If you don't have extra holes in your ears, lip, nose or nipple, along with black nail polish and 2 different colors of hair, do not expect to be treated with the same respect that someone with a pink and red mohawk wearing tight jeans and having a spear through your lower lip would. If you would like to hear a story, please let me know. I am trying to be more positive this year...I keep reading this blog that I am addicted too, and everytime I look at it I feel sad, and like I am not good enough. This annonymous person, we'll call her "Leslie Schmarris" seems to have everything, good looks, plenty of ITC (inner thigh clearance-you know when the tops of you thighs don't touch) a cute husband and beautiful daughters and plenty of disposable income. They seem to do things like go mountain lion hunting for example, or run marathons. Things that normal people don't do, but they want to. Anyway, everytime that I see Leslie Schmarris' blog, I feel bad about myself and that I am lacking. One of my new years' resolutions is to stop thinking about "things" to make me happy, and stop comparing myself to others. Working in the ER I have seen people at their worst, and I know that people's lives are never as good as they seem.
Rather than feeling bad about all the things that I don't have (like ITC) I will list the amazing things in my life:
1. A cute, cute husband who I adore, and who thinks after stretch marks, two babies and four years together that I am cute, funny and still likes being around me. I love you hot man-meat!
2. Two of the most amazing people in the world as my children. Jack is so fun, loves his momma, constantly makes me laugh, lets me snuggle him and is cute to boot. Emma was too amazing to keep hanging out in this world, if you had the privelege of meeting her you know that she was sassy, fun, sweet, empathetic (pretty amazing for a nearly 2 year old) and beautiful.
3. The best mommy. ever. 'Nuff said
4. The best sisters ever-I am counting Rachel and Brianne in this, along with Kam and Cristi. You guys ROCK!! Kami, I miss you everyday!
5. The greatest friends ever-special shout out to Deanna-can you believe that we've been friends for like 7 years? Time flies! Love you lots!
6. Ok, so I have really cute hair. Not to be boastful, but it is pretty cute, and now I have Reece Witherspoon bangs.
7. The funnest and cuddliest daddy ever. There is nothing better than making my daddy laugh and watching his belly shake. tee hee
8. Awesome brothers who I love hanging out with. The best is when they were coaching me at guitar hero...so funny.
9. A newfound testimony of the principle that families can be together forever. Also, a newfound appreciation for the atonement and for a loving and personal Heavenly Father and Jesus.
10. Chocolate, ice cream and french fries. Ok, seriously, I know God loves us because he gave us amazing tasty treats to eat and not just barley and carrots and stuff.
11. The most loyal and protective dog anyone could ever had. Moose has been with me through the best times and the worse times of my life and she is the best.
Wow, see I already feel better! I appreciate you all...thanks for being a part of this crazy adventure of life with me.
Sara

This is why I love my husband...

Upon discovering that people he did not know had posted on his fitness blog (check it out, it is really funny) he stated "Homophiles would be all over me. I am a tasty piece of man-meat." Homophiles come from when he first stated that pedophiles would be all over him and I reminded him that he is 27, not 7; therefore, the phrase pedophile does not apply to him.
Justin, honey, I am really glad I married you. You make me laugh like none other, and if I don't tell you enough I simply adore you!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Jack hijacking the camera Jackson and Grampy Jack opening cars!

Wow, I haven't posted in a long time...Christmas was really nice, my parents and brother and sister came to town and it was so nice to have everyone together! Jackson decided that he did like this Santa fellow after all, at least the present part of Santa Claus. He was hysterical because he stood on the edge of the boxes and screamed everytime someone opened a present. It was a lot of fun to give gifts this year, because I made my mom cry not once, not twice but three times. It was also fun to see Rachel open up the scripture case I made for her. I will post a couple of pictures of the cases. My current project is making a new crib set for Jack I will post pictures when I am all done. I am thinking about some goals for this new year-inspired by Rachel, but I am literally sick and tired right now so I will have to save it for another day. In the meantime, enjoy some pictures of the cutest nearly 11 month old ever!


Love ya all...



Jack enjoying his new presents from Santa...he was a VERY good boy this year!

Jack and Bethany playing on New Years' The Scripture cases My cute honeybunny, he was also a VERY good boy!

Diaper Bag poll and other cool stuff...

Some fun things that happened this week...
1. Justin went to the mailbox and found this...


Hip, hip hooray!! I am so proud of you baby!!!

2. I went to Marshall's across from Scottsdale Shea this week after a class and found a Fleurville Diaper bag that retails for 150+ for $49.99. Being the thrifty minded woman I am, I snapped it right up. I told my husband about said bag and after seeing it this was his reaction...

(Me) Hi honey, after working so hard this week, I went to Marshalls like you told me to buy you expensive clothes, but seeing as how the last diaper bag I purchased was 5.99 at Walmart, I was wondering if I could keep this very quality made diaper bag so that I can better care for our child??


(Justin) Woman!!! How many times have I told you not to think!!! Leopard print!! What is this 1980?!? Who would buy crap like that?


(Me) I'm sorry sir, I only want to make you happy...


Ok, Ok, I may have embelished this exchange, but the leopard print comment is pure Justin.


So, in the spirit of fairness, I have decided to post a poll to determine the fate of this bag. I will post several pictures, please enter the poll or write comments so I can prove my husband wrong. :)

3. I responded to my friend DeAnna's blogspot challenge, so here it is :

"I will send a handmade gift, treat, etc. to the first three (3) people who leave a comment on my blog requesting to join this PIF exchange."

What this means is I will make you a homemade treat or craft but you have to copy and paste this on your blog for you to do. The time line on this is by Christmas! What a fun idea and a cool way to give to others!!


The first 3 people to leave me a comment will get an awesome, Sara Lines' treat! Merry Christmas!!!

It's Christmas Time...

Ah, Christmas, the smell of pine and cinnamon fills the air...bright lights twinkle and the sounds of sleigh bells and screaming children in the mall...

As you can see Jackson enjoyed his visit with Santa Claus! We then went to build a bear and Jack made a monkey named Chongo (for all those that are not fluent in espanol, that means "monkey"). He had a great time.

I got my Christmas tree up...it will be a hard Christmas, it was really difficult seeing all of the ornaments for Emma-her baby ornament, the special "Emma" snowman, etc. but it will be nice making memories with Jack in his first Christmas. He is going to be spoiled rotten! I also know that we have a special little angel looking out for us now, it is just really hard not to miss her little impish smile and giggle and sweet kisses and the way she would lay her head on my shoulder and pat my arm. I miss you baby! If you think of it, send some prayers and good thoughts my way-I could use them right about now. We love you all and I am grateful the Lord has provided us with an amazing family and special friends during this challenging time. That is truly on of God's greatest blessings in my life right now-may the spirit of Christmas and the gift of the gospel light our lives this Christmas instead of retail and packages.

I promise not to have depressing posts anymore...Love you all. Here is a picture of our glorious tree! Merry Christmas!!

Zoo Day

Today was Jackson's first official visit to the phoenix zoo. Here is a picture of what he was like most of the day...

Since today was Mommy's work party we marched on and went to the Children's Zoo, to pet goats and posed with Mommy and Daddy on the tractor. Jackson especially enjoyed the squirrel monkey open air exhibit where 5-6 monkeys were in the bush right in front of him.

Here is a picture of Jack after a nap, tylenol and no pants (he hates clothing). Much improved! (If you notice carefully, he is standing by himself-such a big boy!)

Balloon, Balloon (in french accent)

We went out to dinner at sweet tomatoes and Jack got his very own balloon. It was love at first sight!!

Happy Halloween!

Jackson was a lion for halloween and Mommy was the zoo keeper. I was up until 3 am the night before finishing the mane on his costume, but it was well worth it, he looked adorable and was the cutest lion/baby ever! Daddy had class so didn't get to go trick or treating, but we had a good time anyway. We also visited a pumpkin patch and Jack got his own little pumpkin!