Thursday, December 25, 2008

A letter to my Daughter

Dear Emma,
Hi sweetheart. Well, this is my second Christmas without you and I find myself awake at two am on Christmas Day thinking of you. I miss you. It is so hard not thinking of all the things that I am missing out on with you. I find myself shopping for your brother and sister and wondering what kinds of things I would be buying for Christmas for you. I would have gotten you a doll house, I always wanted one when I was little and I was looking forward to getting one for you. I made Christmas cookies with Jack-Jack the other day and I know you would have loved that. His favorite part were the sprinkles, but he was so messy about it. You were always so particular about things it would have made you crazy. You would have been a perfectionist about the sprinkles. So many things have changed in our lives. You would be so proud of your little brother. He is such a good boy and so funny. I can imagine you and him playing together. You loved him so much and were so good with him. I think he misses you, he loves looking at your pictures and he knows your name. He points at your picture and says Emma. You would love your little sister. She is alot like you, but definitely her own little person. She looks so much like you as a baby, it is nice to have a little reminder of you around the house. You loved babies and were such a good helper so I know you would have been so excited to have a little sister. She loves to talk and you would probably love to listen. I saw a big sister and little sister shirts the other day and I immediately thought of you. I wonder what you would have thought of the cold and snow and Illinois. I know how proud you would be of Daddy. He is doing so well in school and it is in large part due to you. He wanted to take good care of you and give you all the things you deserve like dance lessons, soccer, new shoes and that doll house. I am sorry I never took you to go see Santa the last year. There are so many things that I would do over. I am sorry I never got your pictures with Jackson. I am sorry that I was not always the mother that you deserved. All I can say is that I loved you more than anything. I was and am so proud of you. You are the light of my life and maybe that is why I miss you so much, especially at times like now. I guess Christmas will never get any easier, but I guess that is ok. It means that we will always miss you and our little family will never quite be complete without you. I made sure to get your name on our family ornament- I probably will every year. Merry Christmas, Baby. I love you and miss you so much.
Your mommy


rachanderson said...

oh Sara....Love you.

Kamarah said...

Sweet letter to Emma. I know she helps you all each day in angel ways and she was right there with you on Christmas!

The Woolner Family said...

That made me cry. You are every bit the mother she deserved and that is why she was especially selected for your family. You are an example to me in so many ways.